That said-- here's our story:
We got a call about three weeks after we became "available" in the matching process with our agency. Our match worker told us about a 21 month old boy she needed a home for, who was in emergency care at the children's receiving home. We wanted more information than she had available and we told her we'd think about it. We talked amongst ourselves and decided to ask for a visit before we gave a final "yes" or "no". When we called she started the conversation with "There is another baby I think you might be interested in..." She went on to give us his details (born over 7 pounds, seven months old, living with the same foster family since leaving the hospital, half white and half African-American, etc.). Denise was the one on the phone with her and I was driving in horrible traffic on I-5. She was jotting down details and when she finally wrote down his name, Dennis, I told her to tell the worker "yes". It was so clearly meant to be. So our worker told us she'd let Dennis' worker know that we were interested and we'd wait and see what happens. A few days later we got the call that changed our lives. His worker wanted us to meet him.
She brought him to our house on Monday the 19th and we were instantly smitten with the tiny little guy. He went to both of us easily and was in good spirits despite having had his shots that morning. She told us his foster mother would be bringing him over to stay for the weekend on Friday night. If all went well over the weekend then he would stay on and wait to officially become a Bailey-Gardner. I started getting NERVOUS about his homecoming and started feeling really sad for the foster parents who clearly loved him and only decided not to adopt because they wanted him to go to a younger family. Finally Friday came and his foster mother and father pulled up in front of our house. Savvy ran outside yelling "Baby brother!" and they brought him in and went through all that was known about him. There were tears all around and promises of continued contact (they will be his "Nana" and "Papa" going forward) and then they left the tiny man with us and we became a fumbling family of four.
The first few nights were ROUGH with the lack of sleep, poor feeding (we later learned that he could only drink from a specific type of nipple and wasn't able to drink from the bottles we'd bought him) and juggling of two tiny humans to tend to. Savvy did better than expected with the jealousy factor, but still wanted to be a baby again, asking for her own bottle and binky and every other baby thing she saw him get. And then there was the dark period of days where I started to wonder what the hell we'd gotten ourselves into. In addition to the huge stress of bringing home a new member of the family, D was struggling at work and having work-stress induced panic attacks. So add that altogehter with the lack of sleep and you have the perfect storm of post-adoption depression. I wasn't feeling as bonded to him as I originally had to Savvy and kept comparing every little detail with how it had been the first time around with Savvy. Completely unfair, I know, but such is the thought pattern of a new parent to two. It took about two weeks for all of us to settle into a rhythym and feel more like a complete family again. The turning point for us was this past weekend. My parents came to town for the second time to see the kids and house hunt (a whole other story) and we took the little guy to his foster parents' daughter's baby shower, where we fully anticipated he would leap out of our arms and beg them to take him back home. Instead, he went to them, smiled, and then kept a close eye on us, getting jealous when I held another baby and actually wanting to go back to D and I. It was my first feeling of acceptance from his side and my cue that everything was going to be just fine.
His legal situation is way better than we could have even wished for. His hearing to terminate parental rights happened when he was only 6 months old and as of now all we have to do to finalize is wait the six months and get a court date. No visits, no siblings, no relatives-- nothing. It's crazy how lucky we've been with our two babies.
As for his name, we decided after meeting him that he just didn't look like a Dennis. We narrowed it down to two names we liked: Jackson and Miles. After talking and sleeping on it we picked Miles. When I told the foster mother she got quiet and it sounded like she was crying on the other end. I asked if she didn't like the name and she said "My husband's father's name was Leo Miles and he always said that if we had another son he would want to name him Miles. He would be so honored if you used that name." Once again it felt like fate and we were sure he was meant to be named Miles. We intend to keep Dennis as his middle name, making him (once everything is final) Miles Dennis Bailey-Gardner.
So... that's our story. I have to run and pick up D from work soon, so here's some pics since the little guy's been home.
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